- The movie "Delta Force" was extremely hard to make because Chuck had to downplay his abilities. The first few cuts were completely unbelievable.
- Chuck Norris is widely predicted to be first black president. If you're thinking to yourself, "But Chuck Norris isn't black", then you are dead wrong. And stop being a racist.
- Chuck Norris causes the Windows Blue Screen of Death.
- Chuck Norris's version of a "chocolate milkshake" is a raw porterhouse wrapped around ten Hershey bars, and doused in diesel fuel.
- Chuck Norris once lost the remote, but maintained control of the TV by yelling at it in between bites of his "Filet of Child" sandwich.
- There is in fact an 'I' in Norris, but there is no 'team'. Not even close.
- A diff between your code and Chuck Norris's is infinite.
- Some people like to eat frogs' legs. Chuck Norris likes to eat lizard legs. Hence, snakes.
- An anagram for Walker Texas Ranger is KARATE WRANGLER SEX. I don't know what that is, but it sounds AWESOME.
- After taking a steroids test doctors informed Chuck Norris that he had tested positive. He laughed upon receiving this information, and said "of course my urine tested positive, what do you think they make steroids from?"
- Chuck Norris can believe it's not butter.
- All browsers support the hex definitions #chuck and #norris for the colors black and blue.
- The opening scene of the movie "Saving Private Ryan" is loosely based on games of dodgeball Chuck Norris played in second grade.
- When Chuck Norris says "More cowbell", he MEANS it.
- Chuck Norris does not own a stove, oven, or microwave , because revenge is a dish best served cold.
- Chuck Norris was the orginal sculptor of Mount Rushmore. He completed the entire project using only a bottle opener and a drywall trowel.
- The show Survivor had the original premise of putting people on an island with Chuck Norris. There were no survivors, and nobody is brave enough to go to the island to retrieve the footage.
- Police label anyone attacking Chuck Norris as a Code 45-11.... A suicide.
- Chuck Norris once went skydiving, but promised never to do it again. One Grand Canyon is enough.
- Those aren't credits that roll after Walker Texas Ranger. It is actually a list of fatalities that occurred during the making of the episode.
- When J. Robert Oppenheimer said "I am become death, the destroyer Of worlds", He was not referring to the atomic bomb. He was referring to the Chuck Norris halloween costume he was wearing.
- Chuck Norris does not need to know about class factory pattern. He can instantiate interfaces.
- When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.
- Chuck Norris doesn't look both ways before he crosses the street... he just roundhouses any cars that get too close.
- Chuck Norris once worked as a weatherman for the San Diego evening news. Every night he would make the same forecast: Partly cloudy with a 75% chance of Pain.
- When Chuck Norris works out on the Total Gym, the Total Gym feels like it's been raped.
- Chuck Norris' Penis is a third degree blackbelt, and an honorable 32nd-degree mason.