- The word 'Kill' was invented by Chuck Norris. Other words were 'Die', 'Beer', and 'What'.
- In the medical community, death is referred to as "Chuck Norris Disease"
- Simply by pulling on both ends, Chuck Norris can stretch diamonds back into coal.
- Along with his black belt, Chuck Norris often chooses to wear brown shoes. No one has DARED call him on it. Ever.
- When Chuck Norris is in a crowded area, he doesn't walk around people. He walks through them.
- On his birthday, Chuck Norris randomly selects one lucky child to be thrown into the sun.
- If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, "Two seconds 'til." After you ask, "Two seconds 'til what?" he roundhouse kicks you in the face.
- If you rearrange the letters in "Chuck Norris", they also spell "Crush Rock In". The words "with his fists" are understood.
- When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes, ever.
- Chuck Norris is currently suing myspace for taking the name of what he calls everything around you.
- The chemical formula for the highly toxic cyanide ion is CN-. These are also Chuck Norris' initials. This is not a coincidence.
- Chuck Norris is the only person who can simultaneously hold and fire FIVE Uzis: One in each hand, one in each foot -- and the 5th one he roundhouse-kicks into the air, so that it sprays bullets.
- Chuck Norris can do a roundhouse kick faster than the speed of light. This means that if you turn on a light switch, you will be dead before the lightbulb turns on.
- How many Chuck Norris require to screw a light bulb? None, he will screw it all.
- When Chuck Norris talks, everybody listens. And dies.
- Chuck Norris runs on batteries. Specifically, Die Hards.
- Archeologists unearthed an old english dictionary dating back to the year 1236. It defined "victim" as "one who has encountered Chuck Norris"
- It is said that looking into Chuck Norris' eyes will reveal your future. Unfortunately, everybody's future is always the same: death by a roundhouse-kick to the face.
- Whiteboards are white because Chuck Norris scared them that way.
- When Chuck Norris plays Oregon Trail, his family does not die from cholera or dysentery, but rather, roundhouse kicks to the face. He also requires no wagon, since he carries the oxen, axels, and buffalo meat on his back. He always makes it to Oregon before you.
- Bill Gates thinks he's Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris actually laughed. Once.
- A diff between your code and Chuck Norris's is infinite.