- Chuck Norris can dereference NULL.
- Superman once watched an episode of Walker, Texas Ranger. He then cried himself to sleep.
- Never look a gift Chuck Norris in the mouth, because he will bite your damn eyes off.
- Chuck Norris once sued Burger King after they refused to put razor wire in his Whopper Jr, insisting that that actually is "his" way.
- Chuck Norris does not own a stove, oven, or microwave , because revenge is a dish best served cold.
- Everything King Midas touches turnes to gold. Everything Chuck Norris touches turns up dead.
- Chuck Norris doesn't need an account. He just logs in.
- Chuck Norris describes human beings as "a sociable holder for blood and guts".
- If, by some incredible space-time paradox, Chuck Norris would ever fight himself, he'd win. Period.
- Chuck Norris doesn't do Burn Down charts, he does Smack Down charts.
- Chuck Norris doesn't bug hunt as that signifies a probability of failure, he goes bug killing.
- A man once claimed Chuck Norris kicked his ass twice, but it was promptly dismissed as false - no one could survive it the first time.
- According to the Bible, God created the universe in six days. Before that, Chuck Norris created God by snapping his fingers.
- Chuck Norris is actually the front man for Apple. He let's Steve Jobs run the show when he's on a mission. Chuck Norris is always on a mission.
- Chuck Norris's brain waves are suspected to be harmful to cell phones.
- Chuck Norris doesn't stub his toes. He accidentally destroys chairs, bedframes, and sidewalks.
- Chuck Norris can download emails with his pick-up.
- Chuck Norris does not need to know about class factory pattern. He can instantiate interfaces.
- Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer.
- Chuck Norris keeps his friends close and his enemies closer. Close enough to drop them with one round house kick to the face.
- The Chuck Norris Eclipse plugin made alien contact.
- Chuck Norris is the only man who has, literally, beaten the odds. With his fists.
- Chuck Norris doesnt wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.
- Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is based on a true story: Chuck Norris once swallowed a turtle whole, and when he crapped it out, the turtle was six feet tall and had learned karate.