- Chuck Norris eats steak for every single meal. Most times he forgets to kill the cow.
- Chuck Norris's version of a "chocolate milkshake" is a raw porterhouse wrapped around ten Hershey bars, and doused in diesel fuel.
- Chuck Norris? favourite cut of meat is the roundhouse.
- Chuck Norris was banned from competitive bullriding after a 1992 exhibition in San Antonio, when he rode the bull 1,346 miles from Texas to Milwaukee Wisconsin to pick up his dry cleaning.
- Chuck Norris doesn't do Burn Down charts, he does Smack Down charts.
- When Chuck Norris calls 1-900 numbers, he doesn't get charged. He holds up the phone and money falls out.
- Chuck Norris doesn't churn butter. He roundhouse kicks the cows and the butter comes straight out.
- Chuck Norris can overflow your stack just by looking at it.
- MacGyver immediately tried to make a bomb out of some Q-Tips and Gatorade, but Chuck Norris roundhouse-kicked him in the solar plexus. MacGyver promptly threw up his own heart.
- MacGyver can build an airplane out of gum and paper clips. Chuck Norris can kill him and take it.
- Chuck Norris causes the Windows Blue Screen of Death.
- All browsers support the hex definitions #chuck and #norris for the colors black and blue.
- Chuck Norris is the only person to ever win a staring contest against Ray Charles and Stevie Wonder.
- He who lives by the sword, dies by the sword. He who lives by Chuck Norris, dies by the roundhouse kick.
- Most people fear the Reaper. Chuck Norris considers him "a promising Rookie".
- When you're Chuck Norris, anything + anything is equal to 1. One roundhouse kick to the face.
- Divide Chuck Norris by zero and you will in fact get one........one bad-ass that is.
- Chuck Norris knows the last digit of PI.
- Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad did.
- If you rearrange the letters in "Chuck Norris", they also spell "Crush Rock In". The words "with his fists" are understood.
- Chuck Norris invented the bolt-action rifle, liquor, sexual intercourse, and football-- in that order.
- Chuck Norris once rode a nine foot grizzly bear through an automatic car wash, instead of taking a shower.
- Chuck Norris can drink an entire gallon of milk in thirty-seven seconds.
- Chuck Norris does not eat. Food understands that the only safe haven from Chuck Norris' fists is inside his own body.
- The Bible was originally titled "Chuck Norris and Friends"
- Chuck Norris programs do not accept input.