- Chuck Norris has two speeds: Walk and Kill.
- If you try to kill -9 Chuck Norris's programs, it backfires.
- Google won't search for Chuck Norris because it knows you don't find Chuck Norris, he finds you.
- There are two types of people in the world... people that suck, and Chuck Norris.
- Chuck Norris plays racquetball with a waffle iron and a bowling ball.
- The Bible was originally titled "Chuck Norris and Friends"
- Chuck Norris once rode a nine foot grizzly bear through an automatic car wash, instead of taking a shower.
- For Spring Break '05, Chuck Norris drove to Madagascar, riding a chariot pulled by two electric eels.
- Chuck Norris killed two stones with one bird.
- No one has ever pair-programmed with Chuck Norris and lived to tell about it.
- The chemical formula for the highly toxic cyanide ion is CN-. These are also Chuck Norris' initials. This is not a coincidence.
- Chuck Norris finished World of Warcraft.
- Chuck Norris solved the Travelling Salesman problem in O(1) time. Here's the pseudo-code: Break salesman into N pieces. Kick each piece to a different city.
- The word 'Kill' was invented by Chuck Norris. Other words were 'Die', 'Beer', and 'What'.
- An anagram for Walker Texas Ranger is KARATE WRANGLER SEX. I don't know what that is, but it sounds AWESOME.
- Only Chuck Norris shuts down websites without due process, not SOPA or PIPA.
- There are only two things that can cut diamonds: other diamonds, and Chuck Norris.
- Time waits for no man. Unless that man is Chuck Norris.
- A man once taunted Chuck Norris with a bag of Lay's potato chips, saying "Betcha can't eat just one!" Chuck Norris proceeded to eat the chips, the bag, and the man in one deft move.
- Chuck Norris' testicles do not produce sperm. They produce tiny white ninjas that recognize only one mission: seek and destroy.
- Jesus can walk on water, but Chuck Norris can swim through land.
- Chuck Norris' unit tests don't run. They die.
- Archeologists unearthed an old english dictionary dating back to the year 1236. It defined "victim" as "one who has encountered Chuck Norris"
- Chuck Norris once one a game of connect four in 3 moves.