- Godzilla is a Japanese rendition of Chuck Norris' first visit to Tokyo.
- Chuck Norris did in fact, build Rome in a day.
- Chuck Norris once worked as a weatherman for the San Diego evening news. Every night he would make the same forecast: Partly cloudy with a 75% chance of Pain.
- The US did not boycott the 1980 Summer Olympics in Moscow due to political reasons: Chuck Norris killed the entire US team with a single round-house kick during TaeKwonDo practice.
- When Chuck Norris talks, everybody listens. And dies.
- Chuck Norris once ate four 30lb bowling balls without chewing.
- Chuck Norris can do a roundhouse kick faster than the speed of light. This means that if you turn on a light switch, you will be dead before the lightbulb turns on.
- When Arnold says "I'll be back" in Terminator movie it is implied that he's going to ask Chuck Norris for help.
- When an episode of Walker Texas Ranger was aired in France, the French surrendered to Chuck Norris just to be on the safe side.
- Superman once watched an episode of Walker, Texas Ranger. He then cried himself to sleep.
- Chuck Norris is widely predicted to be first black president. If you're thinking to yourself, "But Chuck Norris isn't black", then you are dead wrong. And stop being a racist.
- Chuck Norris sleeps with a pillow under his gun.
- In the movie "The Matrix", Chuck Norris is the Matrix. If you pay close attention in the green "falling code" scenes, you can make out the faint texture of his beard.
- When Chuck Norris is in a crowded area, he doesn't walk around people. He walks through them.
- Chuck Norris is not Irish. His hair is soaked in the blood of his victims.
- In an act of great philanthropy, Chuck made a generous donation to the American Cancer Society. He donated 6,000 dead bodies for scientific research.
- If at first you don't succeed, you're not Chuck Norris.
- Chuck Norris can skeletize a cow in two minutes.
- Chuck Norris can overflow your stack just by looking at it.
- Chuck Norris doesn't bowl strikes, he just knocks down one pin and the other nine faint.
- If you try to kill -9 Chuck Norris's programs, it backfires.
- If Chuck Norris were a calendar, every month would be named Chucktober, and every day he'd kick your ass.
- Chuck Norris' testicles do not produce sperm. They produce tiny white ninjas that recognize only one mission: seek and destroy.