- A movie scene depicting Chuck Norris losing a fight with Bruce Lee was the product of history's most expensive visual effect. When adjusted for inflation, the effect cost more than the Gross National Product of Paraguay.
- When taking the SAT, write "Chuck Norris" for every answer. You will score over 8000.
- Chuck Norris is the ultimate mutex, all threads fear him.
- Chuck Norris' dick is so big, it has it's own dick, and that dick is still bigger than yours.
- In the movie "The Matrix", Chuck Norris is the Matrix. If you pay close attention in the green "falling code" scenes, you can make out the faint texture of his beard.
- Chuck Norris is the only person to ever win a staring contest against Ray Charles and Stevie Wonder.
- It is better to give than to receive. This is especially true of a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick.
- Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves.
- Chuck Norris can overflow your stack just by looking at it.
- Chuck Norris uses ribbed condoms inside out, so he gets the pleasure.
- A man once asked Chuck Norris if his real name is "Charles". Chuck Norris did not respond, he simply stared at him until he exploded.
- Pluto is actually an orbiting group of British soldiers from the American Revolution who entered space after the Chuck gave them a roundhouse kick to the face.
- Chuck Norris knows the value of NULL, and he can sort by it too.
- On the set of Walker Texas Ranger Chuck Norris brought a dying lamb back to life by nuzzling it with his beard. As the onlookers gathered, the lamb sprang to life. Chuck Norris then roundhouse kicked it, killing it instantly. This was just to prove that the good Chuck givet
- Chuck Norris's keyboard doesn't have a Ctrl key because nothing controls Chuck Norris.
- Chuck Norris knows the last digit of PI.
- When an episode of Walker Texas Ranger was aired in France, the French surrendered to Chuck Norris just to be on the safe side.
- The show Survivor had the original premise of putting people on an island with Chuck Norris. There were no survivors, and nobody is brave enough to go to the island to retrieve the footage.
- Chuck Norris doesn't need to use AJAX because pages are too afraid to postback anyways.
- Police label anyone attacking Chuck Norris as a Code 45-11.... A suicide.
- Chuck Norris insists on strongly-typed programming languages.
- Chuck Norris is the only man who has, literally, beaten the odds. With his fists.
- Chuck Norris does not play the lottery. It doesn't have nearly enough balls.
- Chuck Norris and Mr. T walked into a bar. The bar was instantly destroyed, as that level of awesome cannot be contained in one building.
- Chuck Norris knows everything there is to know - Except for the definition of mercy.