- Chuck Norris drinks napalm to quell his heartburn.
- In the movie "The Matrix", Chuck Norris is the Matrix. If you pay close attention in the green "falling code" scenes, you can make out the faint texture of his beard.
- When Chuck Norris goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket.
- Chuck Norris causes the Windows Blue Screen of Death.
- Chuck Norris originally appeared in the "Street Fighter II" video game, but was removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to do a roundhouse kick. When asked about this glitch, Norris replied "That's no glitch."
- They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but there was a problem-- It wouldn't take shit from anybody.
- Chuck Norris can hit you so hard that he can actually alter your DNA. Decades from now your descendants will occasionally clutch their heads and yell "What The Hell was That?".
- Chuck Norris can write multi-threaded applications with a single thread.
- Chuck Norris doesn't need garbage collection because he doesn't call .Dispose(), he calls .DropKick().
- To Chuck Norris, everything contains a vulnerability.
- Chuck Norris can taste lies.
- Newton's Third Law is wrong: Although it states that for each action, there is an equal and opposite reaction, there is no force equal in reaction to a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick.
- In a fight between Batman and Darth Vader, the winner would be Chuck Norris.
- Chuck Norris's programs can pass the Turing Test by staring at the interrogator.
- Chuck Norris once round-house kicked a salesman. Over the phone.
- There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live.
- Chuck Norris has to register every part of his body as a separate lethal weapon. His spleen is considered a concealed weapon in over 50 states.
- The 1972 Miami Dolphins lost one game, it was a game vs. Chuck Norris and three seven year old girls. Chuck Norris won with a roundhouse-kick to the face in overtime.
- Coroners refer to dead people as "ABC's". Already Been Chucked.
- Chuck Norris's database has only one table, 'Kick', which he DROPs frequently.
- When Chuck Norris throws exceptions, it's across the room.
- When Chuck Norris wants an egg, he cracks open a chicken.
- Chuck Norris doesn't need sudo, he just types "Chuck Norris" before his commands.