- China lets Chuck Norris search for porn on Google.
- Chuck Norris is the only person in the world that can actually email a roundhouse kick.
- A movie scene depicting Chuck Norris losing a fight with Bruce Lee was the product of history's most expensive visual effect. When adjusted for inflation, the effect cost more than the Gross National Product of Paraguay.
- Archeologists unearthed an old english dictionary dating back to the year 1236. It defined "victim" as "one who has encountered Chuck Norris"
- Wo hu cang long. The translation from Mandarin Chinese reads: "Crouching Chuck, Hidden Norris"
- Chuck Norris can win at solitaire with only 18 cards.
- When Chuck Norris break the build, you can't fix it, because there is not a single line of code left.
- Chuck Norris's programs can pass the Turing Test by staring at the interrogator.
- Chuck Norris was banned from competitive bullriding after a 1992 exhibition in San Antonio, when he rode the bull 1,346 miles from Texas to Milwaukee Wisconsin to pick up his dry cleaning.
- If you work in an office with Chuck Norris, don't ask him for his three-hole-punch.
- Chuck Norris doesn't need garbage collection because he doesn't call .Dispose(), he calls .DropKick().
- When in a bar, you can order a drink called a "Chuck Norris". It is also known as a "Bloody Mary", if your name happens to be Mary.
- Pluto is actually an orbiting group of British soldiers from the American Revolution who entered space after the Chuck gave them a roundhouse kick to the face.
- The truth will set you free. Unless Chuck Norris has you, in which case, forget it buddy!
- Never look a gift Chuck Norris in the mouth, because he will bite your damn eyes off.
- Chuck Norris doesn't shower, he only takes blood baths.
- With the rising cost of gasoline, Chuck Norris is beginning to worry about his drinking habit.
- It is said that looking into Chuck Norris' eyes will reveal your future. Unfortunately, everybody's future is always the same: death by a roundhouse-kick to the face.
- The crossing lights in Chuck Norris's home town say "Die slowly" and "die quickly". They each have a picture of Chuck Norris punching or kicking a pedestrian.
- Contrary to popular belief, there is indeed enough Chuck Norris to go around.
- Chuck Norris can't test for equality because he has no equal.
- There is in fact an 'I' in Norris, but there is no 'team'. Not even close.
- Chuck Norris's keyboard has the Any key.