- Chuck Norris starts everyday with a protein shake made from Carnation Instant Breakfast, one dozen eggs, pure Colombian cocaine, and rattlesnake venom. He injects it directly into his neck with a syringe.
- Aliens DO indeed exist. They just know better than to visit a planet that Chuck Norris is on.
- Chuck Norris can dereference NULL.
- The 1972 Miami Dolphins lost one game, it was a game vs. Chuck Norris and three seven year old girls. Chuck Norris won with a roundhouse-kick to the face in overtime.
- The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Chuck Norris out. It failed miserably.
- Chuck Norris always knows the EXACT location of Carmen SanDiego.
- For undercover police work, Chuck Norris pins his badge underneath his shirt, directly into his chest.
- Science Fact: Roundhouse kicks are comprised primarily of an element called Chucktanium.
- The original title for Star Wars was "Skywalker: Texas Ranger". Starring Chuck Norris.
- Most tough men eat nails for breakfast. Chuck Norris does all of his grocery shopping at Home Depot.
- When Arnold says "I'll be back" in Terminator movie it is implied that he's going to ask Chuck Norris for help.
- Staring at Chuck Norris for extended periods of time without proper eye protection will cause blindess, and possibly foot sized brusies on the face.
- Rules of fighting: 1) Don't bring a knife to a gun fight. 2) Don't bring a gun to a Chuck Norris fight.
- Chuck Norris can write multi-threaded applications with a single thread.
- According to Einstein's theory of relativity, Chuck Norris can actually roundhouse kick you yesterday.
- Chuck Norris? sperm is so badass, he had sex with Nicole Kidman, and 7 months later she prematurely gave birth to a Ford Excursion.
- Since 1940, the year Chuck Norris was born, roundhouse-kick related deaths have increased 13,000 percent.
- One time, Chuck Norris accidentally stubbed his toe. It destroyed the entire state of Ohio.
- The Chuck Norris Eclipse plugin made alien contact.
- A study showed the leading causes of death in the United States are: 1. Heart disease, 2. Chuck Norris, 3. Cancer
- Chuck Norris's beard can type 140 wpm.
- One time, at band camp, Chuck Norris ate a percussionist.