- In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Chuck Norris could use to kill you, including the room itself.
- Chuck Norris did in fact, build Rome in a day.
- Chuck Norris is the only person in the world that can actually email a roundhouse kick.
- The only pattern Chuck Norris knows is God Object.
- When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.
- An anagram for Walker Texas Ranger is KARATE WRANGLER SEX. I don't know what that is, but it sounds AWESOME.
- Chuck Norris once round-house kicked a salesman. Over the phone.
- How many Chuck Norris require to screw a light bulb? None, he will screw it all.
- Chuck Norris can be unlocked on the hardest level of Tekken. But only Chuck Norris is skilled enough to unlock himself. Then he roundhouse kicks the Playstation back to Japan.
- Chuck Norris doesn't cheat death. He wins fair and square.
- Some people like to eat frogs' legs. Chuck Norris likes to eat lizard legs. Hence, snakes.
- Chuck Norris's log statements are always at the FATAL level.
- The only sure things are Death and Taxes?and when Chuck Norris goes to work for the IRS, they'll be the same thing.
- Chuck Norris's database has only one table, 'Kick', which he DROPs frequently.
- Chuck Norris could use anything in java.util.* to kill you, including the javadocs.
- Chuck Norris can't test for equality because he has no equal.
- Chuck Norris doesn't play god. Playing is for children.
- If at first you don't succeed, you're not Chuck Norris.
- Chuck Norris invented the bolt-action rifle, liquor, sexual intercourse, and football-- in that order.
- Hellen Keller's favorite color is Chuck Norris.
- Chuck Norris doesn't believe in ravioli. He stuffs a live turtle with beef and smothers it in pig's blood.
- Chuck Norris wipes his ass with chain mail and sandpaper.
- A study showed the leading causes of death in the United States are: 1. Heart disease, 2. Chuck Norris, 3. Cancer
- Chuck Norris can dereference NULL.