- They had to edit the first ending of 'Lone Wolf McQuade' after Chuck Norris kicked David Carradine's ass, then proceeded to barbecue and eat him.
- There are no races, only countries of people Chuck Norris has beaten to different shades of black and blue.
- "Let the Bodies Hit the Floor" was originally written as Chuck Norris' theme song.
- The pen is mighter than the sword, but only if the pen is held by Chuck Norris.
- Chuck Norris once pulled out a single hair from his beard and skewered three men through the heart with it.
- Chuck Norris has volunteered to remain on earth after the Rapture; he will spend his time fighting the Anti-Christ.
- Some kids play Kick the can. Chuck Norris played Kick the keg.
- If you were somehow able to land a punch on Chuck Norris your entire arm would shatter upon impact. This is only in theory, since, come on, who in their right mind would try this?
- Nobody doesn't like Sara Lee. Except Chuck Norris.
- When Chuck Norris works out on the Total Gym, the Total Gym feels like it's been raped.
- Chick Norris solved the halting problem.
- Product Owners never ask Chuck Norris for more features. They ask for mercy.
- In the medical community, death is referred to as "Chuck Norris Disease"
- Chuck Norris wipes his ass with chain mail and sandpaper.
- Newton's Third Law is wrong: Although it states that for each action, there is an equal and opposite reaction, there is no force equal in reaction to a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick.
- Chuck Norris can write multi-threaded applications with a single thread.
- Chuck Norris's first program was kill -9.
- Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.
- When Chuck Norris plays Monopoly, it affects the actual world economy.
- The Chuck Norris military unit was not used in the game Civilization 4, because a single Chuck Norris could defeat the entire combined nations of the world in one turn.
- Chuck Norris doesn't go on the internet, he has every internet site stored in his memory. He refreshes webpages by blinking.
- In the movie "The Matrix", Chuck Norris is the Matrix. If you pay close attention in the green "falling code" scenes, you can make out the faint texture of his beard.
- Along with his black belt, Chuck Norris often chooses to wear brown shoes. No one has DARED call him on it. Ever.
- It takes 14 puppeteers to make Chuck Norris smile, but only 2 to make him destroy an orphanage.
- Chuck Norris is currently suing myspace for taking the name of what he calls everything around you.
- The First rule of Chuck Norris is: you do not talk about Chuck Norris.
- Superman once watched an episode of Walker, Texas Ranger. He then cried himself to sleep.
- The grass is always greener on the other side, unless Chuck Norris has been there. In that case the grass is most likely soaked in blood and tears.