- Chuck Norris doesn't have disk latency because the hard drive knows to hurry the hell up.
- Chuck Norris can believe it's not butter.
- Chuck Norris finished World of Warcraft.
- Chuck Norris? roundhouse kick is so powerful, it can be seen from outer space by the naked eye.
- Chuck Norris always knows the EXACT location of Carmen SanDiego.
- Chuck Norris doesn't need sudo, he just types "Chuck Norris" before his commands.
- Chuck Norris can access the DB from the UI.
- Along with his black belt, Chuck Norris often chooses to wear brown shoes. No one has DARED call him on it. Ever.
- Chuck Norris once challenged Lance Armstrong in a "Who has more testicles?" contest. Chuck Norris won by 5.
- In the X-Men movies, none of the X-Men super-powers are done with special effects. Chuck Norris is the stuntman for every character.
- Chuck Norris's log statements are always at the FATAL level.
- In the Words of Julius Caesar, "Veni, Vidi, Vici, Chuck Norris". Translation: I came, I saw, and I was roundhouse-kicked inthe face by Chuck Norris.
- Chuck Norris does not code in cycles, he codes in strikes.
- Police label anyone attacking Chuck Norris as a Code 45-11.... A suicide.
- Movie trivia: The movie "Invasion U.S.A." is, in fact, a documentary.
- Chuck Norris likes his ice like he likes his skulls: crushed.
- Chuck Norris programs occupy 150% of CPU, even when they are not executing.
- There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live.
- In the beginning there was nothing...then Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked that nothing in the face and said "Get a job". That is the story of the universe.
- With the rising cost of gasoline, Chuck Norris is beginning to worry about his drinking habit.
- Chuck Norris originally wrote the first dictionary. The definition for each word is as follows - A swift roundhouse kick to the face.
- "Sweating bullets" is literally what happens when Chuck Norris gets too hot.
- Chuck Norris puts his pants on one leg at a time, just like the rest of us. The only difference is, then he kills people.
- Not everyone that Chuck Norris is mad at gets killed. Some get away. They are called astronauts.
- Chuck Norris' favorite cereal is Kellogg's Nails 'N' Gravel.
- When Chuck Norris falls in water, Chuck Norris doesn't get wet. Water gets Chuck Norris.
- Chuck Norris doesn't daydream. He's too busy giving other people nightmares.