- The US did not boycott the 1980 Summer Olympics in Moscow due to political reasons: Chuck Norris killed the entire US team with a single round-house kick during TaeKwonDo practice.
- Jesus can walk on water, but Chuck Norris can walk on Jesus.
- Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer.
- In a fight between Batman and Darth Vader, the winner would be Chuck Norris.
- The last thing you hear before Chuck Norris gives you a roundhouse kick? No one knows because dead men tell no tales.
- Chuck Norris doesn't churn butter. He roundhouse kicks the cows and the butter comes straight out.
- When you play Monopoly with Chuck Norris, you do not pass go, and you do not collect two hundred dollars. You will be lucky if you make it out alive.
- Product Owners never argue with Chuck Norris after he demonstrates the DropKick feature.
- If Chuck Norris were a calendar, every month would be named Chucktober, and every day he'd kick your ass.
- Thousands of years ago Chuck Norris came across a bear. It was so terrified that it fled north into the arctic. It was also so terrified that all of its decendents now have white hair.
- Chuck Norris invented his own type of karate. It's called Chuck-Will-Kill.
- Chuck Norris once ordered a steak in a restaurant. The steak did what it was told.
- "Let the Bodies Hit the Floor" was originally written as Chuck Norris' theme song.
- When Arnold says "I'll be back" in Terminator movie it is implied that he's going to ask Chuck Norris for help.
- Chuck Norris doesn't needs try-catch, exceptions are too afraid to raise.
- There are no steroids in baseball. Just players Chuck Norris has breathed on.
- Chuck Norris has two speeds: Walk and Kill.
- Bill Gates thinks he's Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris actually laughed. Once.
- Two wrongs don't make a right. Unless you're Chuck Norris. Then two wrongs make a roundhouse kick to the face.
- Chuck Norris doesn't step on toes. Chuck Norris steps on necks.