- You know how they say if you die in your dream then you will die in real life? In actuality, if you dream of death then Chuck Norris will find you and kill you.
- Chuck Norris is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.
- Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.
- Chuck Norris' credit cards have no limit. Last weekend, he maxed them out.
- Staring at Chuck Norris for extended periods of time without proper eye protection will cause blindess, and possibly foot sized brusies on the face.
- Chuck Norris can overflow your stack just by looking at it.
- The pie scene in "American Pie" is based on a dare Chuck Norris took when he was younger. However, in Chuck Norris' case, the "pie" was the molten crater of an active volcano.
- The pen is mighter than the sword, but only if the pen is held by Chuck Norris.
- The truth will set you free. Unless Chuck Norris has you, in which case, forget it buddy!
- Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves.
- All roads lead to Chuck Norris. And by the transitive property, a roundhouse kick to the face.
- Jesus can walk on water, but Chuck Norris can walk on Jesus.
- Faster than a speeding bullet... More powerful than a locomotive... Able to leap tall buildings in a single bound... These are some of Chuck Norris's warm-up exercises.
- Police label anyone attacking Chuck Norris as a Code 45-11.... A suicide.
- Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks don't really kill people. They wipe out their entire existence from the space-time continuum.
- Chuck Norris began selling the Total Gym as an ill-fated attempt to make his day-to-day opponents less laughably pathetic.
- On the set of Walker Texas Ranger Chuck Norris brought a dying lamb back to life by nuzzling it with his beard. As the onlookers gathered, the lamb sprang to life. Chuck Norris then roundhouse kicked it, killing it instantly. This was just to prove that the good Chuck givet
- No statement can catch the ChuckNorrisException.
- Ozzy Osbourne bites the heads off of bats. Chuck Norris bites the heads off of Siberian Tigers.
- In a fight between Batman and Darth Vader, the winner would be Chuck Norris.
- Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad did.
- Chuck Norris does not need to know about class factory pattern. He can instantiate interfaces.