- Chuck Norris breaks RSA 128-bit encrypted codes in milliseconds.
- If you Google search "Chuck Norris getting his ass kicked" you will generate zero results. It just doesn't happen.
- Chuck Norris always knows the EXACT location of Carmen SanDiego.
- Chuck Norris is the ultimate mutex, all threads fear him.
- Once you go Norris, you are physically unable to go back.
- Chuck Norris went out of an infinite loop.
- Chuck Norris once worked as a weatherman for the San Diego evening news. Every night he would make the same forecast: Partly cloudy with a 75% chance of Pain.
- Science Fact: Roundhouse kicks are comprised primarily of an element called Chucktanium.
- Chuck Norris can blow bubbles with beef jerky.
- When Chuck Norris is in a crowded area, he doesn't walk around people. He walks through them.
- MacGyver immediately tried to make a bomb out of some Q-Tips and Gatorade, but Chuck Norris roundhouse-kicked him in the solar plexus. MacGyver promptly threw up his own heart.
- The Drummer for Def Leppard's only got one arm. Chuck Norris needed a back scratcher.
- When J. Robert Oppenheimer said "I am become death, the destroyer Of worlds", He was not referring to the atomic bomb. He was referring to the Chuck Norris halloween costume he was wearing.
- There is in fact an 'I' in Norris, but there is no 'team'. Not even close.
- Chuck Norris doesn't use a computer because a computer does everything slower than Chuck Norris.
- A diff between your code and Chuck Norris's is infinite.
- Chuck Norris's OSI network model has only one layer - Physical.
- Guantuanamo Bay, Cuba, is the military code-word for "Chuck Norris' basement".
- Chuck Norris hosting is 101% uptime guaranteed.
- Chuck Norris' sperm can be seen with the naked eye. Each one is the size of a quarter.
- Chuck Norris once shot down a German fighter plane with his finger. By yelling "Bang!"
- Fear is not the only emotion Chuck Norris can smell. He can also detect hope, as in "I hope I don't get a roundhouse kick from Chuck Norris."
- Chuck Norris is the only person who can simultaneously hold and fire FIVE Uzis: One in each hand, one in each foot -- and the 5th one he roundhouse-kicks into the air, so that it sprays bullets.
- If, by some incredible space-time paradox, Chuck Norris would ever fight himself, he'd win. Period.
- Jean-Claude Van Damme once kicked Chuck Norris' ass. He was then awakened from his dream by a roundhouse kick to the face.