- The phrase 'dead ringer' refers to someone who sits behind Chuck Norris in a movie theater and forgets to turn their cell phone off.
- Chuck Norris got his drivers license at the age of 16. Seconds.
- With the rising cost of gasoline, Chuck Norris is beginning to worry about his drinking habit.
- Sticks and stones may break your bones, but a Chuck Norris glare will liquefy your kidneys.
- Archeologists unearthed an old english dictionary dating back to the year 1236. It defined "victim" as "one who has encountered Chuck Norris"
- Chuck Norris does not need to know about class factory pattern. He can instantiate interfaces.
- Chuck Norris was once in a knife fight, and the knife lost.
- Chuck Norris invented black. In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink.
- All roads lead to Chuck Norris. And by the transitive property, a roundhouse kick to the face.
- Nagasaki never had a bomb dropped on it. Chuck Norris jumped out of a plane and punched the ground
- Chuck Norris doesn't have pubic hairs because hair doesn't grow on balls of steal.
- Time waits for no man. Unless that man is Chuck Norris.
- When Chuck Norris has sex with a man, it won't be because he is gay. It will be because he has run out of women.
- Chuck Norris once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills. They made him blink.
- Chuck Norris does not "style" his hair. It lays perfectly in place out of sheer terror.
- When Chuck Norris goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket.
- Chuck Norris can hit you so hard that he can actually alter your DNA. Decades from now your descendants will occasionally clutch their heads and yell "What The Hell was That?".
- The class object inherits from Chuck Norris
- Chuck Norris is currently suing myspace for taking the name of what he calls everything around you.
- Chuck Norris wears a live rattlesnake as a condom.