- In the X-Men movies, none of the X-Men super-powers are done with special effects. Chuck Norris is the stuntman for every character.
- Think of a hot woman. Chuck Norris did her.
- Chuck Norris never goes to the dentist because his teeth are unbreakable. His enemies never go to the dentist because they have no teeth.
- The First Law of Thermodynamics states that energy can neither be created nor destroyed... unless it meets Chuck Norris.
- Chuck Norris can solve the Towers of Hanoi in one move.
- Chuck Norris can win in a game of Russian roulette with a fully loaded gun.
- When Chuck Norris is in a crowded area, he doesn't walk around people. He walks through them.
- There are no steroids in baseball. Just players Chuck Norris has breathed on.
- In a tagteam match, Chuck Norris was teamed with Hulk Hogan against King Kong Bundy and Andre The Giant. He pinned all 3 at the same time.
- Chuck Norris drinks napalm to quell his heartburn.
- Chuck Norris can instantiate an abstract class.
- Chuck Norris invented the internet? just so he had a place to store his porn.
- Sticks and stones may break your bones, but a Chuck Norris glare will liquefy your kidneys.
- Chuck Norris's keyboard has the Any key.
- No statement can catch the ChuckNorrisException.
- "It works on my machine" always holds true for Chuck Norris.
- Chuck Norris played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.
- All roads lead to Chuck Norris. And by the transitive property, a roundhouse kick to the face.
- Chuck Norris does not own a stove, oven, or microwave , because revenge is a dish best served cold.
- Chuck Norris is the only human being to display the Heisenberg uncertainty principle - you can never know both exactly where and how quickly he will roundhouse-kick you in the face.