- Ozzy Osbourne bites the heads off of bats. Chuck Norris bites the heads off of Siberian Tigers.
- Chuck Norris does, in fact, live in a round house.
- Chuck Norris got his drivers license at the age of 16. Seconds.
- Don't worry about tests, Chuck Norris's test cases cover your code too.
- Chuck Norris doesn't bowl strikes, he just knocks down one pin and the other nine faint.
- Chuck Norris can retrieve anything from /dev/null.
- Chuck Norris eats steak for every single meal. Most times he forgets to kill the cow.
- Chuck Norris' unit tests don't run. They die.
- When Chuck Norris wants an egg, he cracks open a chicken.
- The Chuck Norris Eclipse plugin made alien contact.
- When Bruce Banner gets mad, he turns into the Hulk. When the Hulk gets mad, he turns into Chuck Norris.
- Wo hu cang long. The translation from Mandarin Chinese reads: "Crouching Chuck, Hidden Norris"
- Chuck Norris has a deep and abiding respect for human life... unless it gets in his way.
- Pluto is actually an orbiting group of British soldiers from the American Revolution who entered space after the Chuck gave them a roundhouse kick to the face.
- Chuck Norris once shot down a German fighter plane with his finger. By yelling "Bang!"
- Chuck Norris can't finish a "color by numbers" because his markers are filled with the blood of his victims. Unfortunately, all blood is dark red.
- Chuck Norris doesn't daydream. He's too busy giving other people nightmares.
- Chuck Norris uses canvas in IE.
- On the set of Walker Texas Ranger Chuck Norris brought a dying lamb back to life by nuzzling it with his beard. As the onlookers gathered, the lamb sprang to life. Chuck Norris then roundhouse kicked it, killing it instantly. This was just to prove that the good Chuck givet
- Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is based on a true story: Chuck Norris once swallowed a turtle whole, and when he crapped it out, the turtle was six feet tall and had learned karate.
- If tapped, a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick could power the country of Australia for 44 minutes.
- Chuck Norris doesn't needs try-catch, exceptions are too afraid to raise.