- The phrase 'break a leg' was originally coined by Chuck Norris's co-stars in Walker, Texas Ranger as a good luck charm, indicating that a broken leg might be the worst extent of their injuries. This never proved to be the case.
- Most boots are made for walkin'. Chuck Norris' boots ain't that merciful.
- Chuck Norris doesn't need garbage collection because he doesn't call .Dispose(), he calls .DropKick().
- Chuck Norris doesn't say "who's your daddy", because he knows the answer.
- The term "Cleveland Steamer" got its name from Chuck Norris, when he took a dump while visiting the Rock and Roll Hall of fame and buried northern Ohio under a glacier of fecal matter.
- Chuck Norris can delete the Recycling Bin.
- Chuck Norris doesn't pair program.
- If at first you don't succeed, you're not Chuck Norris.
- Chuck Norris was once in a knife fight, and the knife lost.
- Chuck Norris once lost the remote, but maintained control of the TV by yelling at it in between bites of his "Filet of Child" sandwich.
- Chuck Norris wipes his ass with chain mail and sandpaper.
- In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Chuck Norris could use to kill you, including the room itself.
- When Chuck Norris is web surfing websites get the message "Warning: Internet Explorer has deemed this user to be malicious or dangerous. Proceed?".
- Most people fear the Reaper. Chuck Norris considers him "a promising Rookie".
- MacGyver can build an airplane out of gum and paper clips. Chuck Norris can kill him and take it.
- Chuck Norris does not have to answer the phone. His beard picks up the incoming electrical impulses and translates them into audible sound.
- Chuck Norris invented black. In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink.
- There are no such things as tornados. Chuck Norris just hates trailer parks.
- Chuck Norris never wet his bed as a child. The bed wet itself out of fear.
- One day Chuck Norris walked down the street with a massive erection. There were no survivors.
- Chuck Norris breaks RSA 128-bit encrypted codes in milliseconds.
- Chuck Norris can over-write a locked variable.
- Little Miss Muffet sat on her tuffet, until Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked her into a glacier.
- Chuck Norris hosting is 101% uptime guaranteed.
- On the set of Walker Texas Ranger Chuck Norris brought a dying lamb back to life by nuzzling it with his beard. As the onlookers gathered, the lamb sprang to life. Chuck Norris then roundhouse kicked it, killing it instantly. This was just to prove that the good Chuck givet
- Chuck Norris doesn't need to use AJAX because pages are too afraid to postback anyways.
- Chuck Norris uses a night light. Not because Chuck Norris is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris.