- Chuck Norris types with one finger. He points it at the keyboard and the keyboard does the rest.
- In the medical community, death is referred to as "Chuck Norris Disease"
- No one has ever spoken during review of Chuck Norris' code and lived to tell about it.
- A Chuck Norris-delivered Roundhouse Kick is the preferred method of execution in 16 states.
- Chuck Norris solved the Travelling Salesman problem in O(1) time. Here's the pseudo-code: Break salesman into N pieces. Kick each piece to a different city.
- A movie scene depicting Chuck Norris losing a fight with Bruce Lee was the product of history's most expensive visual effect. When adjusted for inflation, the effect cost more than the Gross National Product of Paraguay.
- Chuck Norris never goes to the dentist because his teeth are unbreakable. His enemies never go to the dentist because they have no teeth.
- Those aren't credits that roll after Walker Texas Ranger. It is actually a list of fatalities that occurred during the making of the episode.
- Chuck Norris doesn't need a debugger, he just stares down the bug until the code confesses.
- Chuck Norris doesn't see dead people. He makes people dead.
- There is no such thing as a lesbian, just a woman who has never met Chuck Norris.
- The chemical formula for the highly toxic cyanide ion is CN-. These are also Chuck Norris' initials. This is not a coincidence.
- Chuck Norris likes his ice like he likes his skulls: crushed.
- When Chuck Norris is in a crowded area, he doesn't walk around people. He walks through them.
- When you say "no one's perfect", Chuck Norris takes this as a personal insult.
- Chuck Norris invented Kentucky Fried Chicken's famous secret recipe with eleven herbs and spices. Nobody ever mentions the twelfth ingredient: Fear.
- Chuck Norris can delete the Recycling Bin.
- Tom Clancy has to pay royalties to Chuck Norris because "The Sum of All Fears" is the name of Chuck Norris' autobiography.
- The opening scene of the movie "Saving Private Ryan" is loosely based on games of dodgeball Chuck Norris played in second grade.
- Pluto is actually an orbiting group of British soldiers from the American Revolution who entered space after the Chuck gave them a roundhouse kick to the face.
- Some people ask for a Kleenex when they sneeze, Chuck Norris asks for a body bag.
- When an episode of Walker Texas Ranger was aired in France, the French surrendered to Chuck Norris just to be on the safe side.
- Chuck Norris' favorite cereal is Kellogg's Nails 'N' Gravel.
- 182,000 Americans die from Chuck Norris-related accidents every year.
- Archeologists unearthed an old english dictionary dating back to the year 1236. It defined "victim" as "one who has encountered Chuck Norris"
- Most people fear the Reaper. Chuck Norris considers him "a promising Rookie".