- Chuck Norris can spawn threads that complete before they are started.
- China lets Chuck Norris search for porn on Google.
- Chuck Norris' sperm can be seen with the naked eye. Each one is the size of a quarter.
- Chuck Norris smells what the Rock is cooking... because the Rock is Chuck Norris' personal chef.
- Chuck Norris can unit test entire applications with a single assert.
- The square root of Chuck Norris is pain. Do not try to square Chuck Norris, the result is death.
- Chuck Norris doesn't need an account. He just logs in.
- Chuck Norris has never won an Academy Award for acting... because he's not acting.
- In a tagteam match, Chuck Norris was teamed with Hulk Hogan against King Kong Bundy and Andre The Giant. He pinned all 3 at the same time.
- Chuck Norris does infinit loops in 4 seconds.
- Chuck Norris once went skydiving, but promised never to do it again. One Grand Canyon is enough.
- Some kids play Kick the can. Chuck Norris played Kick the keg.
- Project managers never ask Chuck Norris for estimations... ever.
- Chuck Norris programs occupy 150% of CPU, even when they are not executing.
- Love does not hurt. Chuck Norris does.
- Chuck Norris once participated in the running of the bulls. He walked.
- Using his trademark roundhouse kick, Chuck Norris once made a fieldgoal in RJ Stadium in Tampa Bay from the 50 yard line of Qualcomm stadium in San Diego.
- A high tide means Chuck Norris is flying over your coast. The tide is caused by God pissing his pants.
- Chick Norris solved the halting problem.
- Most boots are made for walkin'. Chuck Norris' boots ain't that merciful.
- Chuck Norris doesn't daydream. He's too busy giving other people nightmares.
- Chuck Norris drinks napalm to quell his heartburn.
- The word 'Kill' was invented by Chuck Norris. Other words were 'Die', 'Beer', and 'What'.
- 182,000 Americans die from Chuck Norris-related accidents every year.
- There is endless debate about the existence of the human soul. Well it does exist and Chuck Norris finds it delicious.
- Chuck Norris does not kick ass and take names. In fact, Chuck Norris kicks ass and assigns the corpse a number. It is currently recorded to be in the billions.
- Chuck Norris invented the internet? just so he had a place to store his porn.