- Product Owners never ask Chuck Norris for more features. They ask for mercy.
- It is believed dinosaurs are extinct due to a giant meteor. That's true if you want to call Chuck Norris a giant meteor.
- As an infant, Chuck Norris' parents gave him a toy hammer. He gave the world Stonehenge.
- When Chuck Norris throws exceptions, it's across the room.
- The truth will set you free. Unless Chuck Norris has you, in which case, forget it buddy!
- When Chuck Norris plays Oregon Trail, his family does not die from cholera or dysentery, but rather, roundhouse kicks to the face. He also requires no wagon, since he carries the oxen, axels, and buffalo meat on his back. He always makes it to Oregon before you.
- Chuck Norris's beard can type 140 wpm.
- It takes 14 puppeteers to make Chuck Norris smile, but only 2 to make him destroy an orphanage.
- All browsers support the hex definitions #chuck and #norris for the colors black and blue.
- Chuck Norris has never been accused of murder because his roundhouse kicks are recognized as "acts of God."
- Chuck Norris was once in a knife fight, and the knife lost.
- Chuck Norris doesn't need an account. He just logs in.
- Chuck Norris can instantiate an abstract class.
- Chuck Norris was the orginal sculptor of Mount Rushmore. He completed the entire project using only a bottle opener and a drywall trowel.
- Chuck Norris can write to an output stream.
- Chuck Norris never wet his bed as a child. The bed wet itself out of fear.
- Chuck Norris wipes his ass with chain mail and sandpaper.
- Chuck Norris knows everything there is to know - Except for the definition of mercy.
- Chuck Norris just says "no" to drugs. If he said "yes", it would collapse Colombia's infrastructure.
- Don't worry about tests, Chuck Norris's test cases cover your code too.
- Chuck Norris doesn't need a debugger, he just stares down the bug until the code confesses.
- The original draft of The Lord of the Rings featured Chuck Norris instead of Frodo Baggins. It was only 5 pages long, as Chuck roundhouse-kicked Sauron's ass halfway through the first chapter.
- Most tough men eat nails for breakfast. Chuck Norris does all of his grocery shopping at Home Depot.
- Contrary to popular belief, the Titanic didn't hit an iceberg. The ship was off course and ran into Chuck Norris while he was doing the backstroke across the Atlantic.
- If, by some incredible space-time paradox, Chuck Norris would ever fight himself, he'd win. Period.