- If you Google search "Chuck Norris getting his ass kicked" you will generate zero results. It just doesn't happen.
- Chuck Norris went out of an infinite loop.
- The original title for Star Wars was "Skywalker: Texas Ranger". Starring Chuck Norris.
- Godzilla is a Japanese rendition of Chuck Norris' first visit to Tokyo.
- If you work in an office with Chuck Norris, don't ask him for his three-hole-punch.
- Some people like to eat frogs' legs. Chuck Norris likes to eat lizard legs. Hence, snakes.
- Chuck Norris shot the sheriff, but he round house kicked the deputy.
- All browsers support the hex definitions #chuck and #norris for the colors black and blue.
- How many Chuck Norris' does it take to change a light bulb? None, Chuck Norris prefers to kill in the dark.
- Chuck Norris's programs can pass the Turing Test by staring at the interrogator.
- Chuck Norris has the greatest Poker-Face of all time. He won the 1983 World Series of Poker, despite holding only a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoloy card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO.
- Sticks and stones may break your bones, but a Chuck Norris glare will liquefy your kidneys.
- According to the Encyclopedia Brittanica, the Native American "Trail of Tears" has been redefined as anywhere that Chuck Norris walks.
- Chuck Norris doesn't bug hunt as that signifies a probability of failure, he goes bug killing.
- Scotty in Star Trek often says "Ye cannae change the laws of physics." This is untrue. Chuck Norris can change the laws of physics. With his fists.
- Chuck Norris cannot love, he can only not kill.
- Chuck Norris doesn't needs try-catch, exceptions are too afraid to raise.
- Chuck Norris is not Irish. His hair is soaked in the blood of his victims.
- They say curiosity killed the cat. This is false. Chuck Norris killed the cat. Every single one of them.
- A man once taunted Chuck Norris with a bag of Lay's potato chips, saying "Betcha can't eat just one!" Chuck Norris proceeded to eat the chips, the bag, and the man in one deft move.
- Chuck Norris finished World of Warcraft.
- Chuck Norris has to register every part of his body as a separate lethal weapon. His spleen is considered a concealed weapon in over 50 states.
- Chuck Norris can win in a game of Russian roulette with a fully loaded gun.
- The original draft of The Lord of the Rings featured Chuck Norris instead of Frodo Baggins. It was only 5 pages long, as Chuck roundhouse-kicked Sauron's ass halfway through the first chapter.
- If you rearrange the letters in "Chuck Norris", they also spell "Crush Rock In". The words "with his fists" are understood.