- It's widely believed that Jesus was Chuck Norris' stunt double for crucifixion due to the fact that it is impossible for nails to pierce Chuck Norris' skin.
- Chuck Norris can lead a horse to water AND make it drink.
- There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live.
- A diff between your code and Chuck Norris's is infinite.
- Chuck Norris once ate four 30lb bowling balls without chewing.
- The term "Cleveland Steamer" got its name from Chuck Norris, when he took a dump while visiting the Rock and Roll Hall of fame and buried northern Ohio under a glacier of fecal matter.
- The Drummer for Def Leppard's only got one arm. Chuck Norris needed a back scratcher.
- Chuck Norris can hit you so hard that he can actually alter your DNA. Decades from now your descendants will occasionally clutch their heads and yell "What The Hell was That?".
- Chuck Norris can drink an entire gallon of milk in thirty-seven seconds.
- Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because Chuck Norris only recognizes the element of surprise.
- Chuck Norris can taste lies.
- When Chuck Norris does division, there are no remainders.
- Chuck Norris never has to build his program to machine code. Machines have learnt to interpret Chuck Norris code.
- Bill Gates thinks he's Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris actually laughed. Once.
- Kryptonite has been found to contain trace elements of Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks to the face. This is why it is so deadly to Superman.
- MySpace actually isn't your space, it's Chuck's (he just lets you use it).
- Chuck Norris breaks RSA 128-bit encrypted codes in milliseconds.
- A study showed the leading causes of death in the United States are: 1. Heart disease, 2. Chuck Norris, 3. Cancer
- Chuck Norris doesn't need to use AJAX because pages are too afraid to postback anyways.
- Not everyone that Chuck Norris is mad at gets killed. Some get away. They are called astronauts.
- Chuck Norris can divide by zero.
- Chuck Norris is the ultimate mutex, all threads fear him.
- Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad did.