- Chuck Norris can win at solitaire with only 18 cards.
- Tom Clancy has to pay royalties to Chuck Norris because "The Sum of All Fears" is the name of Chuck Norris' autobiography.
- Fear is not the only emotion Chuck Norris can smell. He can also detect hope, as in "I hope I don't get a roundhouse kick from Chuck Norris."
- Chuck Norris once worked as a weatherman for the San Diego evening news. Every night he would make the same forecast: Partly cloudy with a 75% chance of Pain.
- Don't worry about tests, Chuck Norris's test cases cover your code too.
- Chuck Norris likes his ice like he likes his skulls: crushed.
- Chuck Norris is actually the front man for Apple. He let's Steve Jobs run the show when he's on a mission. Chuck Norris is always on a mission.
- Chuck Norris went out of an infinite loop.
- How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could Chuck Norris? All of it.
- July 4th is Independence day. And the day Chuck Norris was born. Coincidence? I think not.
- Since 1940, the year Chuck Norris was born, roundhouse-kick related deaths have increased 13,000 percent.
- Chuck Norris can write infinite recursion functions and have them return.
- Chuck Norris doesn't stub his toes. He accidentally destroys chairs, bedframes, and sidewalks.
- Chuck Norris' favorite cereal is Kellogg's Nails 'N' Gravel.
- The phrase 'balls to the wall' was originally conceived to describe Chuck Norris entering any building smaller than an aircraft hangar.
- Diamonds are not, despite popular belief, carbon. They are, in fact, Chuck Norris fecal matter. This was proven a recently, when scientific analysis revealed what appeared to be Jean-Claude Van Damme bone fragments inside the Hope Diamond.
- Only Chuck Norris can prevent forest fires.
- When Chuck Norris talks, everybody listens. And dies.
- Chuck Norris doesn't churn butter. He roundhouse kicks the cows and the butter comes straight out.
- Newton's Third Law is wrong: Although it states that for each action, there is an equal and opposite reaction, there is no force equal in reaction to a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick.
- Chuck Norris owns a chain of fast-food restaurants throughout the southwest. They serve nothing but barbecue-flavored ice cream and Hot Pockets.
- Chuck Norris does not wear a condom. Because there is no such thing as protection from Chuck Norris.
- "Sweating bullets" is literally what happens when Chuck Norris gets too hot.
- One time, at band camp, Chuck Norris ate a percussionist.
- When Chuck Norris break the build, you can't fix it, because there is not a single line of code left.
- When Arnold says "I'll be back" in Terminator movie it is implied that he's going to ask Chuck Norris for help.
- A Chuck Norris-delivered Roundhouse Kick is the preferred method of execution in 16 states.