- The chemical formula for the highly toxic cyanide ion is CN-. These are also Chuck Norris' initials. This is not a coincidence.
- Chuck Norris once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress.
- In the Words of Julius Caesar, "Veni, Vidi, Vici, Chuck Norris". Translation: I came, I saw, and I was roundhouse-kicked inthe face by Chuck Norris.
- Chuck Norris' house has no doors, only walls that he walks through.
- Chuck Norris had to stop washing his clothes in the ocean. The tsunamis were killing people.
- Chuck Norris breaks RSA 128-bit encrypted codes in milliseconds.
- Chuck Norris? sperm is so badass, he had sex with Nicole Kidman, and 7 months later she prematurely gave birth to a Ford Excursion.
- Chuck Norris eats steak for every single meal. Most times he forgets to kill the cow.
- Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
- In the movie "The Matrix", Chuck Norris is the Matrix. If you pay close attention in the green "falling code" scenes, you can make out the faint texture of his beard.
- Chuck Norris can win at solitaire with only 18 cards.
- The class object inherits from Chuck Norris
- Chuck Norris doesn't go on the internet, he has every internet site stored in his memory. He refreshes webpages by blinking.
- Chuck Norris sleeps with a pillow under his gun.
- Everybody loves Raymond. Except Chuck Norris.
- When Chuck Norris has sex with a man, it won't be because he is gay. It will be because he has run out of women.
- Chuck Norris doesn't daydream. He's too busy giving other people nightmares.
- Chuck Norris invented the internet? just so he had a place to store his porn.
- According to the Bible, God created the universe in six days. Before that, Chuck Norris created God by snapping his fingers.
- If you were somehow able to land a punch on Chuck Norris your entire arm would shatter upon impact. This is only in theory, since, come on, who in their right mind would try this?
- A movie scene depicting Chuck Norris losing a fight with Bruce Lee was the product of history's most expensive visual effect. When adjusted for inflation, the effect cost more than the Gross National Product of Paraguay.
- Chuck Norris is the only man who has, literally, beaten the odds. With his fists.
- Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad did.