- Chuck Norris is widely predicted to be first black president. If you're thinking to yourself, "But Chuck Norris isn't black", then you are dead wrong. And stop being a racist.
- Chuck Norris got his drivers license at the age of 16. Seconds.
- If you work in an office with Chuck Norris, don't ask him for his three-hole-punch.
- Chuck Norris doesnt shave; he kicks himself in the face. The only thing that can cut Chuck Norris is Chuck Norris.
- There are only two things that can cut diamonds: other diamonds, and Chuck Norris.
- The class object inherits from Chuck Norris
- Google won't search for Chuck Norris because it knows you don't find Chuck Norris, he finds you.
- Godzilla is a Japanese rendition of Chuck Norris' first visit to Tokyo.
- Chuck Norris can dereference NULL.
- Chuck Norris eats steak for every single meal. Most times he forgets to kill the cow.
- There are no races, only countries of people Chuck Norris has beaten to different shades of black and blue.
- According to Einstein's theory of relativity, Chuck Norris can actually roundhouse kick you yesterday.
- Chuck Norris invented a language that incorporates karate and roundhouse kicks. So next time Chuck Norris is kicking your ass, don?t be offended or hurt, he may be just trying to tell you he likes your hat.
- Chuck Norris does infinit loops in 4 seconds.
- Chuck Norris drinks napalm to quell his heartburn.
- Chuck Norris never has to wax his skis because they're always slick with blood.
- Every time someone uses the word "intense", Chuck Norris always replies "you know what else is intense?" followed by a roundhouse kick to the face.
- Chuck Norris finished World of Warcraft.
- Chuck Norris' house has no doors, only walls that he walks through.
- No one has ever spoken during review of Chuck Norris' code and lived to tell about it.
- Chuck Norris does not need to type-cast. The Chuck-Norris Compiler (CNC) sees through things. All way down. Always.
- Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
- Chuck Norris once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress.