- When Chuck Norris was denied an Egg McMuffin at McDonald's because it was 10:35, he roundhouse kicked the store so hard it became a Wendy's.
- Chuck Norris doesn't need to use AJAX because pages are too afraid to postback anyways.
- Chuck Norris doesn't use GUI, he prefers COMMAND line.
- Jean-Claude Van Damme once kicked Chuck Norris' ass. He was then awakened from his dream by a roundhouse kick to the face.
- Chuck Norris's brain waves are suspected to be harmful to cell phones.
- Chuck Norris does not need to know about class factory pattern. He can instantiate interfaces.
- When in a bar, you can order a drink called a "Chuck Norris". It is also known as a "Bloody Mary", if your name happens to be Mary.
- Chuck Norris smells what the Rock is cooking... because the Rock is Chuck Norris' personal chef.
- The movie "Delta Force" was extremely hard to make because Chuck had to downplay his abilities. The first few cuts were completely unbelievable.
- How many Chuck Norris require to screw a light bulb? None, he will screw it all.
- "It works on my machine" always holds true for Chuck Norris.
- Chuck Norris has two speeds: Walk and Kill.
- The original title for Alien vs. Predator was Alien and Predator vs Chuck Norris. The film was cancelled shortly after going into preproduction. No one would pay nine dollars to see a movie fourteen seconds long.
- It is better to give than to receive. This is especially true of a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick.
- Whiteboards are white because Chuck Norris scared them that way.
- There is in fact an 'I' in Norris, but there is no 'team'. Not even close.
- Chuck Norris doesn't step on toes. Chuck Norris steps on necks.
- Chuck Norris did not "lose" his virginity, he stalked it and then destroyed it with extreme prejudice.
- If tapped, a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick could power the country of Australia for 44 minutes.
- Chuck Norris qualified with a top speed of 324 mph at the Daytona 500, without a car.
- Chuck Norris is the only known mammal in history to have an opposable thumb. On his penis.
- Chuck Norris doesn't have pubic hairs because hair doesn't grow on balls of steal.